The greatest joy of any marriage is finding that special “someone” to share your life. Even when you sometimes strive to find a reason to be happy; a good marriage built on a strong bond acts as the basic survival tools for couples to stay emotionally connected. On the other hand, couples can also become emotionally disconnected after several years of marriage.
Emotional disconnection is common in many marriages today as couples continue to live together but are divided in their own homes either due to a shift in their emotional needs or a lack of understanding of how to meet the needs.
A good marriage is based on honest communication which is critical when you feel anxious and need a spouse who is emotionally available to share your worries with. But when your spouse is deliberately absent, he/she may be emotionally disconnected from the marriage. Even though your spouse’s behaviour may seem unreasonable, it may be surprising to know that such behaviour may not be by choice but rather because of other underlying problems.
No man or woman wants to feel isolated in their marriage but when your partner has a toxic behaviour which makes him unpredictable most times, he is more likely to lack the ability to process emotions. The fear of not knowing what will happen next can become traumatising and can suddenly send you into self-confinement too.
You may begin to be emotionally disconnected from your partner as a safeguarding tool to protect yourself from further destruction especially if your partner has suddenly become narcissistic with no sense of responsibility for their action but rather feeling entitled to your support sympathy instead.
Even though you both have responsibilities as adults to love and care for each other, your spouse may find it difficult to connect emotionally due to adverse childhood experiences which continue to form the basis of their adult life.
They say that “you cannot give what you don’t have.” A child who has never experienced love or affection due to abuse or neglect may certainly find it strange to give and receive love as an adult. Even when he/she is shown love, reciprocating can become a struggle making disconnection a pattern within the marriage.
Life as a couple can become a huge transition for your spouse especially when some certain changes begin to manifest quickly after the marriage. The truth is that not every blessing that comes with marriage brings positive reactions; announcing the expectancy of a new addition to the family can depress a spouse who is not ready or financially capable to be a father. This can create emotional disconnection in the marriage when such changes begin to unsettle the plans you both have for the future.
Honesty can be perceived as an emotional weakness in your marriage especially if your spouse has violated your trust many times and keeping certain secrets now makes life less complicated for peace to reign in your marriage.
However, keeping secrets that make you uncomfortable, anxious, and insecure can be distressing, causing more harm to your marital integrity and creating emotional disconnection in your marriage. This can also prevent you from experiencing emotional intimacy when you continue to lead a life of deception.
Culled from Saturday PUNCH